December 31, 2008
As I have walked through my parent’s house this week, I have realized how much I have taken this house and my upbringing for granted.
Growing up (and to some extent still now) I resented having everything given to me and provided for me. I’ve always been self reliant and needed to do things for myself, but I also wrestled with the notion of feeling like I “never caught up” to living at the means I was raised in. The bar was set high and it’s hard not to feel like a failure in my tiny NYC apartment with no closet space. The gratification of being self-made only takes me so far.
I acknowledge that I’m lucky. I acknowledge that my worries are luxuries, but I refuse to let that lessen my belief that my minuscule role in this world is incomplete. There is a fulfillment I am seeking that I have not yet known.
Maybe I’ll get a taste of it in 2009. At the very least I hope I at least get a dishwasher.