March 8, 2009

My penchance for the news includes celebrity news and gossip. I work primarily in the music/entertainment industry and try to keep as current as possible. I have been following the Rihanna/Chris Brown abuse story since the beginning and find my heart breaking a little more each day as new details emerge.

When I heard last week they had reconciled, I was saddened. Not just for Rihanna, but for all the girls and young women who now have the message that it is acceptable to live with abuse. So few women leave after the first beating and I wish she had been able to serve as an example to millions that preservation of self worth needs to be valued above all else.

I was struck once again yesterday when I read the actual warrant and affidavit (PDF) from the night of her beating. Her self-defense strategies were perfect. Locking her hands behind her head and shielding her face with her elbows, pretending to talk to friends on the phone asking them to send help, hiding the car keys so he couldn’t get away, these are not simply instinctual strategies. These come from experience. I fear that she has been through this before and will likely endure it again.

As women we don’t walk away when we should. We don’t stand up and say enough when we should. When someone takes our choices away from us all too often we don’t fight hard enough to get them back.

I know I didn’t.


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