The Ring Cycle of Retail Therapy

April 4, 2009

I said goodbye to my favorite pair of jeans today. However, they didn’t go down without a fight.

I am fortunate to work in an industry where I do not need to dress up every day. Jeans, t-shirts and even pajamas are perfectly acceptable work wear. My favorite “go to” jeans were my perfect length, perfect fit, perfect wash pair by Michael Kors. I’ve had them for years and they were like a reliable old friend.

About a month ago, I ripped them. A small-ish hole on my inner right thigh, just low and hidden enough I felt I could get away with putting off replacing them. Sadly, I even threw them in the wash a few days ago, hoping to ignore the hole and keep wearing them, and even wore them to work yesterday. In hindsight that was probably one wear too many.

I found myself near Macys last night, so I decided to take the plunge and see if I could find another pair of jeans to replace my ripped ones. Any woman knows that shopping for pants, especially in the NYC Macys store is the fashion version of Where’s Waldo, except it usually involves rude salespeople, tailors and even some tears.

I armed myself with a stack of potential contenders and headed to the dressing room. As I bent to take off my shoes, I heard a loud riiiiiiiiip. My small-ish hole had exponentially grown northward, rendering the jeans unwearable, even for lax NY standards. Faced now with the potential of either being arrested for indecent exposure, or arrested for suspected theft if I attempted to leave the dressing room sporting a pair of the store’s jeans complete with ill-placed blinking security tag and all, I found a pair of the contenders that I loved, put them on and headed out of the dressing room (minus my shoes, because in that moment I for some reason felt I would look less like a felon without my shoes). I searched for the nearest grandmotherly-type sales person I thought might be most sympathetic to my plight and explained to her my predicament.

She kindly rang up my purchase, helped me remove the oh so attractive size tags stamped on my ass and sent me on my way.

She at least waited until I was (almost) out of earshot before laughing.

I need retail therapy after my retail therapy. Talk about a vicious circle.


One Response to “The Ring Cycle of Retail Therapy”

  1. LOL!!! I should probably give you my phone # the next time this happens. Having a lawyer on speed dial helps.

    BTW, what kind of jeans? I need new ones!

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